Reactions spark as Emir Sanusi asks his daughters to retaliate if their husbands slap them

There has been mixed reactions, which has continued to generate controversies, when the 16th Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi II asked his daughters to retaliate if their husbands slap them.

The Emir of Kano, made this known while speaking at the National Dialogue Conference on Gender-Based Violence (GBV) in Kano, on Monday.

While speaking on the theme “Islamic Teachings and Community Collaboration for Ending Gender-Based Violence,” he  highlighted the alarming prevalence of domestic violence.

He revealed that 45% of cases in Kano’s nine Shari’a courts over five years involved domestic violence, predominantly wife-beating.

According to him, “You can take that verse and say that as a husband, I’ve been given this permission to beat my wife light. And nobody will deny that, nobody will say it is haram if you comply with all the rules. But if you live in a society in which those rules are never applied, nobody who is angry remembers to look for a chewing stick or a handkerchief.

“They just slap these women and punch them and kick them and beat them. I just wrote a doctorate thesis on family law, and I did research on nine courts, nine Shari’a courts in Kano.

“About 51 percent of the cases over a five-year period had to do with maintenance. While 26 percent had to do with harm. And out of those, 45 percent were cases of wife beating, domestic violence, and when we go to the content analysis, not one case of wife beating was light beating.

“We had women whose limbs were broken. We had women whose teeth were knocked out. We had women who were victims of constant beating with sticks. We had women where the husband and his other wives beat one of the wives. We’ve had cases of Khadis having to send her sons to trial for criminal assault because of the nature of the beating against their wives. This is the common beating that happens.

“Beating your wife or beating your daughter or beating a woman is prohibited. It is a crime. Let’s not even talk about handkerchief or chewing stick. It is just haram. It is prohibited. Allah says, all haram must be removed. And beating, gender-based violence is harm. And it must be removed.

“It just does not make sense. Now I said it before, and I know I’ve been attacked for it, and I’ll continue saying it. When my daughters are getting married, I say to them, if your husband slaps you, and you come home and tell me my husband slapped me, without slapping him back first, I will slap you myself because I did not send my daughter to marry somebody so he can slap her. If you do not like her, send her back to me. But don’t beat her.

“And we must teach our daughters not to take it. And also teach our sons that it is not allowed. It is not acceptable. It cannot happen.

“We have to bring up our children to understand that violence against the body of another human being, whether it’s your brother, or your sister, or your son, or your daughter, or your wife, that violence against persons violates the basic dignity of a human being,” Sanusi II stated.

However, the Emir’s stance of retaliation against domestic violence sparked mixed reactions on various social media platfroms. While many commended him, many claimed he’s enouraging domestic violence and it will be bring more problems matrimonial homes.

An X (formerly Twitter) user said; “@EbituPromiseI will give my daughter the same advice.”

Another user with username @KcOfoegbu1h wrote; “I teach my girls how to defend themselves and throw a good punch. Whoever triggers them to practice it on them should be glad their coach is not in the room.”

Asma’u Suleiman, a Facebook user said; “Emir Sanusi II of Kano is indeed a strong advocate for women’s rights and gender equality. At a conference focused on preventing gender-based violence, he shared a powerful message with his daughters and the world, emphasizing the importance of standing up for oneself if someone tries to cause harm .

“He boldly stated that if his daughters didn’t defend themselves by slapping back if their husbands hit them, he would slap them himself. This statement underscores his commitment to promoting equality and respect in relationships .

“Emir Sanusi II also shared alarming statistics on domestic violence cases in Kano, revealing that 45% of cases across nine Shari’a courts involved domestic violence over a five-year period. He stressed that beating one’s wife or daughter is not only unacceptable but also prohibited in Islam. Wife beaters will hate this, but we’ll keep shining a light on love and respect in sha Allah👍”

Reaction from another user, @davidoghe on X said; “This is not a good advise from someone of his profile, nobody should slap anybody, and if it happens that the man slaps first, slapping him back will further mess up things and the woman is the vulnerable one here cus she won’t be able to match the man, the best thing is to work away and report the abuse to the authority.”

Ex-Kaduna Senator, Shehu Sani in a lenghty post on Facebook condemned the Emir’s retaliation stance in domestic violence message and emphasizes the importance of patience, understanding, and non-violence in marriages.

He wrote; “His Highness Sanusi should not be encouraging this kind of domestic violence in form of Slapping and Slapping back. Rather, husbands and wives should learn to control themselves in moments of anger when the Devil temporarily visits their homes. When a husband is angry, he should walk out of the House and come back later. When a husband is upset and shouting loudly, the wife should just keep quiet and allow him to relieve all of his words.The sentence “I’m sorry” has a magical spirit that can evict the demon in the house.

“Two people shouting at each other is the source of many Divorce.If the man is becoming violent,the wife should protect herself by walking out to his family or her family home.The very day slapping and slapping back becomes the order of a family,the marriage is irreversibly destroyed even if the couple remains together.

“Most of the participants in those mass weddings are literally divorced wives who believe in this revengeful idea of slapping back their husbands.What is the possibility that when you slap your first husband you won’t slap the second one? Did you grew up from a home where your father slapped your mother and your mother slapped him back? How did your parents resolved their problems? Should that not be your guide?

It’s sad that you can now see thousands of Divorcees from the North in Abuja,who refused to be patient with their husbands.They are virtually living a life of glorified prostitution moving from one Honorable to another Honorable, giving them mostly false promises of multi million naira contracts or Supplies and sleeping with them.What they cannot tolerate from their husbands they end up tolerating it with the Honorables whom they cannot slap back under any circumstance.

“There is no perfect husband and there is no perfect and there is no perfect family. We live by learning to understand and tolerate our imperfections. Every family poor or rich has its challenges.In every home there are good moments and bad moments,when bad moments come,we should learn to navigate the storms and the turbulence and it will pass. Most Marriages last not because of love, but because the couples have learned and master the art of overcoming those bad moments and moving on.When you are getting married to a man or a woman, just know that you are not getting married to an angel even though you call each other Angels.

“You also call yourselves honey and forget that honey comes from a Bee that can sting. Even me, that writes this have my own headache and troubles at home occasionally. Whenever I travel, my wife wants to call me on video call by midnight or 1am and she will not tolerate the excuse that I don’t have enough data sometimes or network problems; and whenever we communicated via that video, she feels happy and life moves on. One day I’ll be gone and the family will miss that moment. That is life.”